Post by Jimmy Ice on Nov 26, 2007 4:26:02 GMT -5
**Fade in on a teenage boy’s bedroom. Its very early morning and sun is shining brightly through the window. Sports posters adorn the walls of the room as well as the occasional bikini-clad model. Clothes are strewn about the room, a brand new computer with stacks of CD’s and Video Games sits on a new desk. The only orderly sight to the room is the new school bag and outfit slung over the chair. The camera turns on the bed as the alarm clock goes off. An arm swings forward, slapping the silence button as the young man sits up. Athletic and well built, the young man rubs his eyes and yawns looking into the camera. Jimmy Ice . . . School President, Student Athlete, Popular kid and all around nice guy. He shakes his head as he looks outside and then down at the clock which reads 6:30am. He climbs out of bed, wearing boxer shorts and walks over to his desk, looking at the mirror on the wall. He smiles at his reflection and looks down, noticing the pitched tent in his pants.**
Jimmy: “A great way to start the school year . . .”
**Semi-Charmed Life by 3rd Eye Blind plays as Jimmy turns to get ready for his day. Cut to a massive school campus. Kids everywhere, talking, laughing, all getting ready for the first day of school. As the camera pans, it catches a golf cart streaming around campus. It honks at some girls who giggle and wave. The driver waves to more than a few kids who shout their hellos. As the golf cart passes, Jimmy Ice, not watching where he is going, runs over a kid. The music screeches to a halt as screams are heard. Jimmy jumps out, horrified. He looks down at a kid who is getting up, dusting himself off. As Jimmy looks on, Craig Lovecraft and Fat Rob walk up and stand next to him.**
Craig: “Nice shot buddy.”
Jimmy: “I didn’t even see him there.”
Craig: “Who cares?”
**Jimmy looks at Craig**
Jimmy: “Ummmm . . . I’d rather not get expelled for a hit and run on my first day of Senior Year.”
**Jimmy helps the other kid up.**
Pete: “Thanks mate.”
Jimmy: “Who are you?”
Pete: “Pete Jones.”
Craig: “You Australian or something?”
Pete: “I’m English you idiot! I’m here for my grade 12 year and to play for your football team.”
Jimmy: “Oh yeah? What position do you play? Receiver? Linebacker?”
Pete: “What? No. I’m a Forward.”
Craig: “Sorry?”
Pete: “A forward. You know, kick goals and all that.”
Jimmy: “Oh you’re talking about soccer,”
Pete: “Yeah that’s what I said, football.”
Craig: “Um dude, Football and Soccer are two different things.”
Pete: “Sorry, you’re football is different from ours, its . . . oh nevermind. I’m here to play soccer.”
Jimmy: “That’s pretty swell Foreign Exchange Student Pete.”
**Craig looks at Jimmy and shakes his head**
Craig: **Sarcastically** “Not just swell, but pretty freakin’ neato too.”
**Jimmy shoves Craig as he turns to Pete**
Jimmy: “Come on Pete, we’ll help you find your way around.”
**Craig looks at the golf cart**
Craig: “I can’t believe you’re driving a golf cart. How Van Wilder of you.”
Jimmy: “Look, you can either get in, or walk to class. Either way, I have things to do.”
**Craig, looks at Pete and Rob as Jimmy gets in.**
Craig: “Fine. Come on guys, Rob you’re in back.”
Rob: “What? Why?”
Jimmy: “So you balance out the three of us.”
**They all hop in, chatting away as the camera zooms out. The scene cuts to the parking lot outside the main building as Jimmy parks the cart in a handicapped spot. Craig looks at him with a raised eyebrow.**
Craig: “You’re worried about running over new kids but you park in handicapped stalls. Is that some kind of twisted irony?”
Jimmy: “Shut up Craig.”
**They all climb out and walk inside. They come to a massive line of tables as they take turns giving their names to the lady sitting down. Wearing a tight blouse with two buttons undone, a short tight skirt and high heels, Miss Annette takes off her school girl glasses as Jimmy walks up.**
Miss Annette: “Jimmy Ice. How lovely to see you. Ready for senior year?”
Jimmy: “Yup. I just need my schedule.”
Miss Annette: “Here you go Hon. Looks like you’ll be taking my class this year. See you in class!”
**Miss Annette walks away as all 4 boys watch her go, staring. Realizing what she’s said, Jimmy looks down at his schedule.**
Jimmy: “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSS!!!”
Craig: “Don’t tell me . . .”
Jimmy: “Fifth period Sex Ed with Miss Annette!!!!!”
Craig: “You lucky . . . OHHHH YEAHHH!!!!”
Pete: “Me too mate!!”
**Craig and Pete show Jimmy their schedules as they high five.**
Rob: “Hey I got it too. Is that good?”
Jimmy: “Good? Rob . . . let me put this in words you can understand . . . its like the cafeteria opening up a buffet all for you.”
**Rob’s eyes go wide as he looks at the other three. Suddenly he covers his crotch.**
Rob: “I just gotta run to the bathroom.”
**Rob runs off as Craig looks at Jimmy and Pete.**
Craig: “Did he just get a boner off you mentioning a buffet?”
Pete: “I think he’s off his nutter.”
Craig: “You sick bastard. I don’t want to think of him whacking to food.”
Pete: “What? I mean he’s crazy.”
Craig: “Oh . . . that was awkward.”
**Craig looks at Jimmy who isn’t paying attention. He turns and follows Jimmy’s gaze.**
Craig: “Missy Monroe. When are you going to get the balls to ask her out?”
Jimmy: “About the time you do when you ask Melissa Evans out.”
Craig: “Hey man . . . fair enough.”
Pete: “Who’s that?”
Jimmy: “Who?”
Pete: “That girl with them.”
Craig: “Ohhhhh yes . . . Vixen. Good eyes Pete.”
**They stand staring at the girls when a familiar voice is heard.**
Kenua: “HEY GUYS!! What are you up to?”
Craig: “Ah fuck . . . its Kenua.”
Pete: “What kind of name is that?”
Jimmy: “A Drug-Induced one. Hey Kenua. Where’s Vlad?”
Kenua: “Locker 417. Top row.”
Craig: “Holy shit, they got him in a top row locker?”
Kenua: “Yeah. It’s a new record for him.”
Jimmy: “Why aren’t you helping him out?”
Kenua: “Are you kidding? He’s used to it. He can take that kind of punishment. I’m a bleeder. You know that.”
**Rob walks back up, winded.**
Rob: “Hey guys, sorry about that.”
**Rob claps Craig on the shoulder. Suddenly, Craig turns and cracks Rob in the forehead. Rob falls over as everyone turns and looks**
Craig: “Don’t ever touch me after what you’ve just done.”
Rob: “What?!
Kenua: “Another boner brought on by food. What was it this time?”
Pete: “Buffet.”
Kenua: “Sweet Baby Jesus . . . Rob you are some kind of creepy.”
**As they stand in a group talking, Missy, Melissa, Vixen and Roxy walk up.**
Missy: “Hey Jimmy.”
Jimmy: “Oh, hi Missy. What’s up?”
Missy: “Oh nothing . . . the girls and I were just comparing schedules. We all have fifth period Sex Ed with that Miss Annette.”
**Jimmy, Craig, Pete, Rob and Kenua all stare as Missy and girls laugh**
Melissa: “Should be interesting to say the least. Do you guys have her this year?”
Craig: “Umm . . . **cough** . . . uh yeah we all do. It’s a requirement to study under her this year . . . I mean with her . . . ah shit.”
**Craig blushes as the girls giggle.**
Missy: “Well, gotta go. See you in class Jimmy.”
**Missy winks at him as the guys watch them go.**
Craig: “Melissa digs me.”
Jimmy: “Yeah, you were really smooth.”
**Just then, Vlad walks up as they all turn and look at him. Kenua shrieks like a girl as he throws his arms around Vlad and hugs him**
Kenua: “VBuddy! I thought I’d never see you again!”
Craig: “Dude, he just got shoved into a locker. Its not like he went to war or something.”
Pete: “How do they get you into small lockers?”
Vlad: “Let me tell you it’s a painful process. But I’ve learned to do this thing where I can dislocate my ribcage and my spine. Makes things a little easier.”
**Everyone stares at Vlad horrified as he shakes his head, seemingly not noticing their looks**
Vlad: “You know what though, I really wish people would consider my size when stuffing me into lockers.”
Jimmy: “Who does it?”
Kenua: “Venom, Dave Fisher, Alex Mark and Leslie.”
Jimmy: “Well, we got Pete now. We’ll take care of them for you.”
Craig: “Hang on, what does having Pete mean?”
Jimmy: “He’s foreign.”
Craig: “And?”
Jimmy: “Craig . . . Alex is Russian. Pete is Australian.”
Pete: “ENGLISH!!!!”
Jimmy: “Same thing . . . anyway, now we each have a foreign guy. It all works out.”
Craig: “How does that make any sense to you?”
**As they are talking, suddenly, Venom, Dave Fisher, Alex Mark and Leslie walk by. The two groups glare at each other as they pass by.**
Craig: “You know seeing them reminds me, they put a new block of lockers in the old janitors wing.”
Vlad: “AH SHIT! SERIOUSLY!!?? I thought that was my last one! I’ve been inside every locker in school! By the way Jimmy, Missy keeps a diary about you.”
Jimmy: “WHAT?!”
Craig: “Don’t worry Vlad, its only a set of ten.”
Jimmy: “Hang on, back up, she keeps a diary about me?”
Vlad: “Yeah.”
Jimmy: “Well? What does it say?”
Vlad: “I don’t know. I blacked out before I could read it.”
Jimmy: “Man . . .”
**As they walk to class, Jimmy notices Venom and his boys down the hall. They do a handshake and each head to their classes. Jimmy turns to Craig.**
Jimmy: “Alright Bro, gotta run.”
**Craig looks down at Jimmy’s hand.**
Craig: “What’s that for?”
Jimmy: “Handshake.”
Craig: “We don’t have a handshake.”
Jimmy: “We should you know.”
Craig: “Why?”
Jimmy: “Because its cool.”
Craig: “Says who?”
**Just then, a scratch beat kicks in out of nowhere as the guys look around. Suddenly, they see Missy and Melssia shake hands, high five, brush each others shoulder off, spin once, bang their fists together, do a huge high five reach over, bend down and grab the other one’s ankle, spin, hit asses together, spin again and jump in the air, knocking their chests together. They giggle as Vixen and Roxy clap. Jimmy, Craig, Pete, Rob, Kenua and Vlad all stand staring as Craig slaps Jimmy on the chest.**
Craig: “Show me that handshake again . . . quick.”
Jimmy: **Stunned** "Awesome . . ."
Jimmy: “A great way to start the school year . . .”
**Semi-Charmed Life by 3rd Eye Blind plays as Jimmy turns to get ready for his day. Cut to a massive school campus. Kids everywhere, talking, laughing, all getting ready for the first day of school. As the camera pans, it catches a golf cart streaming around campus. It honks at some girls who giggle and wave. The driver waves to more than a few kids who shout their hellos. As the golf cart passes, Jimmy Ice, not watching where he is going, runs over a kid. The music screeches to a halt as screams are heard. Jimmy jumps out, horrified. He looks down at a kid who is getting up, dusting himself off. As Jimmy looks on, Craig Lovecraft and Fat Rob walk up and stand next to him.**
Craig: “Nice shot buddy.”
Jimmy: “I didn’t even see him there.”
Craig: “Who cares?”
**Jimmy looks at Craig**
Jimmy: “Ummmm . . . I’d rather not get expelled for a hit and run on my first day of Senior Year.”
**Jimmy helps the other kid up.**
Pete: “Thanks mate.”
Jimmy: “Who are you?”
Pete: “Pete Jones.”
Craig: “You Australian or something?”
Pete: “I’m English you idiot! I’m here for my grade 12 year and to play for your football team.”
Jimmy: “Oh yeah? What position do you play? Receiver? Linebacker?”
Pete: “What? No. I’m a Forward.”
Craig: “Sorry?”
Pete: “A forward. You know, kick goals and all that.”
Jimmy: “Oh you’re talking about soccer,”
Pete: “Yeah that’s what I said, football.”
Craig: “Um dude, Football and Soccer are two different things.”
Pete: “Sorry, you’re football is different from ours, its . . . oh nevermind. I’m here to play soccer.”
Jimmy: “That’s pretty swell Foreign Exchange Student Pete.”
**Craig looks at Jimmy and shakes his head**
Craig: **Sarcastically** “Not just swell, but pretty freakin’ neato too.”
**Jimmy shoves Craig as he turns to Pete**
Jimmy: “Come on Pete, we’ll help you find your way around.”
**Craig looks at the golf cart**
Craig: “I can’t believe you’re driving a golf cart. How Van Wilder of you.”
Jimmy: “Look, you can either get in, or walk to class. Either way, I have things to do.”
**Craig, looks at Pete and Rob as Jimmy gets in.**
Craig: “Fine. Come on guys, Rob you’re in back.”
Rob: “What? Why?”
Jimmy: “So you balance out the three of us.”
**They all hop in, chatting away as the camera zooms out. The scene cuts to the parking lot outside the main building as Jimmy parks the cart in a handicapped spot. Craig looks at him with a raised eyebrow.**
Craig: “You’re worried about running over new kids but you park in handicapped stalls. Is that some kind of twisted irony?”
Jimmy: “Shut up Craig.”
**They all climb out and walk inside. They come to a massive line of tables as they take turns giving their names to the lady sitting down. Wearing a tight blouse with two buttons undone, a short tight skirt and high heels, Miss Annette takes off her school girl glasses as Jimmy walks up.**
Miss Annette: “Jimmy Ice. How lovely to see you. Ready for senior year?”
Jimmy: “Yup. I just need my schedule.”
Miss Annette: “Here you go Hon. Looks like you’ll be taking my class this year. See you in class!”
**Miss Annette walks away as all 4 boys watch her go, staring. Realizing what she’s said, Jimmy looks down at his schedule.**
Jimmy: “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSS!!!”
Craig: “Don’t tell me . . .”
Jimmy: “Fifth period Sex Ed with Miss Annette!!!!!”
Craig: “You lucky . . . OHHHH YEAHHH!!!!”
Pete: “Me too mate!!”
**Craig and Pete show Jimmy their schedules as they high five.**
Rob: “Hey I got it too. Is that good?”
Jimmy: “Good? Rob . . . let me put this in words you can understand . . . its like the cafeteria opening up a buffet all for you.”
**Rob’s eyes go wide as he looks at the other three. Suddenly he covers his crotch.**
Rob: “I just gotta run to the bathroom.”
**Rob runs off as Craig looks at Jimmy and Pete.**
Craig: “Did he just get a boner off you mentioning a buffet?”
Pete: “I think he’s off his nutter.”
Craig: “You sick bastard. I don’t want to think of him whacking to food.”
Pete: “What? I mean he’s crazy.”
Craig: “Oh . . . that was awkward.”
**Craig looks at Jimmy who isn’t paying attention. He turns and follows Jimmy’s gaze.**
Craig: “Missy Monroe. When are you going to get the balls to ask her out?”
Jimmy: “About the time you do when you ask Melissa Evans out.”
Craig: “Hey man . . . fair enough.”
Pete: “Who’s that?”
Jimmy: “Who?”
Pete: “That girl with them.”
Craig: “Ohhhhh yes . . . Vixen. Good eyes Pete.”
**They stand staring at the girls when a familiar voice is heard.**
Kenua: “HEY GUYS!! What are you up to?”
Craig: “Ah fuck . . . its Kenua.”
Pete: “What kind of name is that?”
Jimmy: “A Drug-Induced one. Hey Kenua. Where’s Vlad?”
Kenua: “Locker 417. Top row.”
Craig: “Holy shit, they got him in a top row locker?”
Kenua: “Yeah. It’s a new record for him.”
Jimmy: “Why aren’t you helping him out?”
Kenua: “Are you kidding? He’s used to it. He can take that kind of punishment. I’m a bleeder. You know that.”
**Rob walks back up, winded.**
Rob: “Hey guys, sorry about that.”
**Rob claps Craig on the shoulder. Suddenly, Craig turns and cracks Rob in the forehead. Rob falls over as everyone turns and looks**
Craig: “Don’t ever touch me after what you’ve just done.”
Rob: “What?!
Kenua: “Another boner brought on by food. What was it this time?”
Pete: “Buffet.”
Kenua: “Sweet Baby Jesus . . . Rob you are some kind of creepy.”
**As they stand in a group talking, Missy, Melissa, Vixen and Roxy walk up.**
Missy: “Hey Jimmy.”
Jimmy: “Oh, hi Missy. What’s up?”
Missy: “Oh nothing . . . the girls and I were just comparing schedules. We all have fifth period Sex Ed with that Miss Annette.”
**Jimmy, Craig, Pete, Rob and Kenua all stare as Missy and girls laugh**
Melissa: “Should be interesting to say the least. Do you guys have her this year?”
Craig: “Umm . . . **cough** . . . uh yeah we all do. It’s a requirement to study under her this year . . . I mean with her . . . ah shit.”
**Craig blushes as the girls giggle.**
Missy: “Well, gotta go. See you in class Jimmy.”
**Missy winks at him as the guys watch them go.**
Craig: “Melissa digs me.”
Jimmy: “Yeah, you were really smooth.”
**Just then, Vlad walks up as they all turn and look at him. Kenua shrieks like a girl as he throws his arms around Vlad and hugs him**
Kenua: “VBuddy! I thought I’d never see you again!”
Craig: “Dude, he just got shoved into a locker. Its not like he went to war or something.”
Pete: “How do they get you into small lockers?”
Vlad: “Let me tell you it’s a painful process. But I’ve learned to do this thing where I can dislocate my ribcage and my spine. Makes things a little easier.”
**Everyone stares at Vlad horrified as he shakes his head, seemingly not noticing their looks**
Vlad: “You know what though, I really wish people would consider my size when stuffing me into lockers.”
Jimmy: “Who does it?”
Kenua: “Venom, Dave Fisher, Alex Mark and Leslie.”
Jimmy: “Well, we got Pete now. We’ll take care of them for you.”
Craig: “Hang on, what does having Pete mean?”
Jimmy: “He’s foreign.”
Craig: “And?”
Jimmy: “Craig . . . Alex is Russian. Pete is Australian.”
Pete: “ENGLISH!!!!”
Jimmy: “Same thing . . . anyway, now we each have a foreign guy. It all works out.”
Craig: “How does that make any sense to you?”
**As they are talking, suddenly, Venom, Dave Fisher, Alex Mark and Leslie walk by. The two groups glare at each other as they pass by.**
Craig: “You know seeing them reminds me, they put a new block of lockers in the old janitors wing.”
Vlad: “AH SHIT! SERIOUSLY!!?? I thought that was my last one! I’ve been inside every locker in school! By the way Jimmy, Missy keeps a diary about you.”
Jimmy: “WHAT?!”
Craig: “Don’t worry Vlad, its only a set of ten.”
Jimmy: “Hang on, back up, she keeps a diary about me?”
Vlad: “Yeah.”
Jimmy: “Well? What does it say?”
Vlad: “I don’t know. I blacked out before I could read it.”
Jimmy: “Man . . .”
**As they walk to class, Jimmy notices Venom and his boys down the hall. They do a handshake and each head to their classes. Jimmy turns to Craig.**
Jimmy: “Alright Bro, gotta run.”
**Craig looks down at Jimmy’s hand.**
Craig: “What’s that for?”
Jimmy: “Handshake.”
Craig: “We don’t have a handshake.”
Jimmy: “We should you know.”
Craig: “Why?”
Jimmy: “Because its cool.”
Craig: “Says who?”
**Just then, a scratch beat kicks in out of nowhere as the guys look around. Suddenly, they see Missy and Melssia shake hands, high five, brush each others shoulder off, spin once, bang their fists together, do a huge high five reach over, bend down and grab the other one’s ankle, spin, hit asses together, spin again and jump in the air, knocking their chests together. They giggle as Vixen and Roxy clap. Jimmy, Craig, Pete, Rob, Kenua and Vlad all stand staring as Craig slaps Jimmy on the chest.**
Craig: “Show me that handshake again . . . quick.”
Jimmy: **Stunned** "Awesome . . ."
