Post by Eddie G. on Nov 11, 2007 11:56:12 GMT -5
Eddie G. Presents A modified version of:
NBA HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL
Voice Over:
The following is a G-films production
Narrator:
This is the true story of how life was back when no one had to worry about being body slammed or hit with a foreign object. A time when steroids and Pain killers were not the drug of choice. Yes, this is a true story....of a High School Musical.
//Scene: We are taken to a run down housing complex in Albuquerque, New Mexico. It is the first day of school. Eddie G. is in the shower singing, while peeing on hissing cockroaches. //
Eddie (Singing):
La cucaracha, la cucaracha, ya no puede caminar!
La cucaracha, la cucaracha, ya no puede caminar! Yeeeeehaaaaaa!!!!
Narrator:
Err...we never said they could sing.
//A sudden bang is heard on the bathroom door. It is Eddie G's mom//
Momma G:
EDDIE!!! CABRON!!! You're going to be late for school!
Eddie:
Orale Ma, I'm almost finished!
//Just then, two fine ass mamacitas stand up in the shower with Eddie. They begin to have sex, as porn music plays loudly in the background//
Eddie:
Yeeeeehaaaaaa!!!!
//The scene cuts to a classroom at East High in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Eddie just makes it in as the bell rings. The teacher, Miss Beverly Hyatt, looks on in disapproval as he barely makes it to his seat. //
Miss Hyatt:
Well, I'm glad you decided to join us Eddie. Okay everyone, I know that you are all Sophomores here, but since it is the first day of school I would like everyone to introduce themselves.
//The classroom shows their disapproval to the idea//
Miss Hyatt:
Okay, okay! Just for that outburst, you all will introduce yourselves in song! Starting with you Eddie.
//The class continues to show their disapproval, but is quickly silenced when Miss Hyatt turns on the small stereo on her desk, and begins to play upbeat cheerleading music. Missy begins to bop her head to the music.//
Eddie (Singing):
Oh yeah, I'm Eddie,
I'm ready,
I eat lots of spaghetti.
Missy (Singing):
I'm Missy,
I'm pretty,
I got real big fake titties.
Ben (Singing):
I'm Ben,
I'm Smart,
I throw real smelly farts.
//Ben throws a fart as the classroom applauds. Mr. Natural throws up while cursing.//
Natural (Singing):
I'm Natural,
I'm tall,
I have pimples on my balls.
Kenua (Singing):
I'm Kenua,
I'm funny,
I have a white pet bunny.
Jimmy (Singing):
Oh, I'm Jimmy,
I'm silly,
And I like Missy's titties.
Bobby (Singing):
And I'm Bobby,
Okay!
And I'm really, really gay?
//The music dies down as the classroom applauds and cheers there own performance.//
Missy (Giggling):
Hey, that wasn't half bad!
Jimmy (Also giggling):
You're not half bad!
Kenua:
I have a white pet bunny.
Eddie:
YEAH!!!
Miss Hyatt:
Well, I'm glad you're pleased with yourselves, because you will all be part of East High's next High School Musical.
All:
WHAT!?!
Rob Schneider (Pops his head in the class):
You can do it!
//The scene cuts to Eddie, Kenua, & Sean getting high in the boys bathroom.//
Eddie:
Orale Sean, where have you been this whole summer?
Sean:
I have been rapping home skillet. I now got mad skills b money grip!
Eddie:
B? No holmes, the name is G.
Kenua (Crying):
Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids. That's what they told him guys! But not I damn it! I feed my bunny trix cereal everyday! DO YOU HEAR ME? EVERY DAMN DAY!! RARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
Sean:
Okay man, check this out! Kenua, give me a beat!
//Kenua begins to beat box out of tune//
Sean (Rapping):
Step aside holmes, as I enter the room,
Kenua's got the beat, and Eddie's got mushrooms.
Here in East High, anything goes,
Jimmy likes Missy, and Eddie loves hoes.
But that's life, here in the big city
Bobby likes cock, and Missy's got big titties.
I know you're thinking, what's up with this song
But this is just my cameo, so see ya, so long.
Eddie:
Orale holmes, that sucked!
//The scene cuts to Jimmy and Missy who are making out in the gym.//
Jimmy:
Oh Missy, you are sooooooo hot.
//Missy giggles//
Missy (Still giggling):
I wonder how the musical will turn out.
Jimmy:
I don't know Missy; all I'm worried about is the big game Friday afternoon.
Missy(Still giggling):
Isn't that when we have to perform?
Jimmy:
Oh Shhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitt!!!!
//Missy giggles and the scene cuts to Natural talking to Miss Hyatt//
Natural:
I'm the MESSIAH OF PRO WRESTLING YOU F**KING BITCH!!!!
//The scene cuts to Eddie G. having sex with two fine ass mamacitas in the bathroom.//
Eddie:
The "G" stands for greatness.
Adam Sandler (Pops his head in):
You can do it!
//The scene cuts to Ben hitting on Miss Hyatt.//
Ben:
My name used to be Raw Impact.
//We cut to Bobby hitting on Natural.//
Bobby:
Did you see where I put my Clearasil?
Natural:
F**K YOU YOU MOTHERF**KING @$$ FAGGOT!!!!111@@
//We cut to Kenua feeding his pet bunny trix cereal.//
Kenua:
We'll show them all!
//And finally, we cut to the big day.//
Miss Hyatt:
Okay everyone, give me your best! I'll be looking on.
Jimmy:
Miss Hyatt, I can't do this. I have a game in 15 minutes.
Miss Hyatt:
Surely, you can't be serious!
Jimmy:
I am serious, and don't call me Shirley!
Ben:
Wait guys, I have an idea!
Rob Schneider & Adam Sandler:
You can do it!
Eddie:
YEAH!!!
//The musical begins, as the auditorium is packed to capacity. The music to "I will Survive" By Gloria Gaynor plays over the loud speaker.//
Eddie (Singing):
Orale, I was afraid, I was petrified,
Kenua (Singing to his bunny):
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side,
Natural (Trying to sing):
BUT THEN I SPENT SO MANY F**KING NIGHTS THINKING HOW YOU F**KING DID ME WRONG!!!!!!!!!1111
Missy (Singing and giggling):
And I grew strong, and I learned how to get along,
Jimmy (Singing to Missy):
And so you're back, from Outer space,
Bobby (Singing to Mark Mayhem):
I just walked in to find you here
With that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
Natural(Singing badly):
IF I HAD F**KIN KNOWN FOR JUST ONE SECOND YOUR @$$ WOULD BE BACK TO BOTHER ME!!!
ALL(They begin to sing in unison as the crowd joins in and stand to their feet):
Go on now go, walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
And I'll survive
I will survive, HEY HEY!
//The scene fades as we see Jimmy, Eddie, Kenua, and Ben in the big game. There is only one second on the clock and Eddie is high on drugs. He shoots and scores. The crowd cheers wildly as they carry all four men on their shoulders. Missy is also carried along with Jimmy as Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider try to look up her cheerleader skirt. //
Rob Schneider & Adam Sandler:
We can do it!
//Bobby begins to sing the final song. //
Bobby (Singing):
Together, together, together having fun,
Together, together, come on let's join the fun.
//Everyone stares at him strangely. //
Eddie:
Orale holmes, we don't have to sing anymore! You really are gay.
Natural:
FAGGOT @$$ FAGGOT!!!!!1111
//The scene cuts to the final credits as the theme to Star Wars plays. The scene fades to black. //
THE END?
NBA HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL
Voice Over:
The following is a G-films production
Narrator:
This is the true story of how life was back when no one had to worry about being body slammed or hit with a foreign object. A time when steroids and Pain killers were not the drug of choice. Yes, this is a true story....of a High School Musical.
//Scene: We are taken to a run down housing complex in Albuquerque, New Mexico. It is the first day of school. Eddie G. is in the shower singing, while peeing on hissing cockroaches. //
Eddie (Singing):
La cucaracha, la cucaracha, ya no puede caminar!
La cucaracha, la cucaracha, ya no puede caminar! Yeeeeehaaaaaa!!!!
Narrator:
Err...we never said they could sing.
//A sudden bang is heard on the bathroom door. It is Eddie G's mom//
Momma G:
EDDIE!!! CABRON!!! You're going to be late for school!
Eddie:
Orale Ma, I'm almost finished!
//Just then, two fine ass mamacitas stand up in the shower with Eddie. They begin to have sex, as porn music plays loudly in the background//
Eddie:
Yeeeeehaaaaaa!!!!
//The scene cuts to a classroom at East High in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Eddie just makes it in as the bell rings. The teacher, Miss Beverly Hyatt, looks on in disapproval as he barely makes it to his seat. //
Miss Hyatt:
Well, I'm glad you decided to join us Eddie. Okay everyone, I know that you are all Sophomores here, but since it is the first day of school I would like everyone to introduce themselves.
//The classroom shows their disapproval to the idea//
Miss Hyatt:
Okay, okay! Just for that outburst, you all will introduce yourselves in song! Starting with you Eddie.
//The class continues to show their disapproval, but is quickly silenced when Miss Hyatt turns on the small stereo on her desk, and begins to play upbeat cheerleading music. Missy begins to bop her head to the music.//
Eddie (Singing):
Oh yeah, I'm Eddie,
I'm ready,
I eat lots of spaghetti.
Missy (Singing):
I'm Missy,
I'm pretty,
I got real big fake titties.
Ben (Singing):
I'm Ben,
I'm Smart,
I throw real smelly farts.
//Ben throws a fart as the classroom applauds. Mr. Natural throws up while cursing.//
Natural (Singing):
I'm Natural,
I'm tall,
I have pimples on my balls.
Kenua (Singing):
I'm Kenua,
I'm funny,
I have a white pet bunny.
Jimmy (Singing):
Oh, I'm Jimmy,
I'm silly,
And I like Missy's titties.
Bobby (Singing):
And I'm Bobby,
Okay!
And I'm really, really gay?
//The music dies down as the classroom applauds and cheers there own performance.//
Missy (Giggling):
Hey, that wasn't half bad!
Jimmy (Also giggling):
You're not half bad!
Kenua:
I have a white pet bunny.
Eddie:
YEAH!!!
Miss Hyatt:
Well, I'm glad you're pleased with yourselves, because you will all be part of East High's next High School Musical.
All:
WHAT!?!
Rob Schneider (Pops his head in the class):
You can do it!
//The scene cuts to Eddie, Kenua, & Sean getting high in the boys bathroom.//
Eddie:
Orale Sean, where have you been this whole summer?
Sean:
I have been rapping home skillet. I now got mad skills b money grip!
Eddie:
B? No holmes, the name is G.
Kenua (Crying):
Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids. That's what they told him guys! But not I damn it! I feed my bunny trix cereal everyday! DO YOU HEAR ME? EVERY DAMN DAY!! RARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
Sean:
Okay man, check this out! Kenua, give me a beat!
//Kenua begins to beat box out of tune//
Sean (Rapping):
Step aside holmes, as I enter the room,
Kenua's got the beat, and Eddie's got mushrooms.
Here in East High, anything goes,
Jimmy likes Missy, and Eddie loves hoes.
But that's life, here in the big city
Bobby likes cock, and Missy's got big titties.
I know you're thinking, what's up with this song
But this is just my cameo, so see ya, so long.
Eddie:
Orale holmes, that sucked!
//The scene cuts to Jimmy and Missy who are making out in the gym.//
Jimmy:
Oh Missy, you are sooooooo hot.
//Missy giggles//
Missy (Still giggling):
I wonder how the musical will turn out.
Jimmy:
I don't know Missy; all I'm worried about is the big game Friday afternoon.
Missy(Still giggling):
Isn't that when we have to perform?
Jimmy:
Oh Shhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitt!!!!
//Missy giggles and the scene cuts to Natural talking to Miss Hyatt//
Natural:
I'm the MESSIAH OF PRO WRESTLING YOU F**KING BITCH!!!!
//The scene cuts to Eddie G. having sex with two fine ass mamacitas in the bathroom.//
Eddie:
The "G" stands for greatness.
Adam Sandler (Pops his head in):
You can do it!
//The scene cuts to Ben hitting on Miss Hyatt.//
Ben:
My name used to be Raw Impact.
//We cut to Bobby hitting on Natural.//
Bobby:
Did you see where I put my Clearasil?
Natural:
F**K YOU YOU MOTHERF**KING @$$ FAGGOT!!!!111@@
//We cut to Kenua feeding his pet bunny trix cereal.//
Kenua:
We'll show them all!
//And finally, we cut to the big day.//
Miss Hyatt:
Okay everyone, give me your best! I'll be looking on.
Jimmy:
Miss Hyatt, I can't do this. I have a game in 15 minutes.
Miss Hyatt:
Surely, you can't be serious!
Jimmy:
I am serious, and don't call me Shirley!
Ben:
Wait guys, I have an idea!
Rob Schneider & Adam Sandler:
You can do it!
Eddie:
YEAH!!!
//The musical begins, as the auditorium is packed to capacity. The music to "I will Survive" By Gloria Gaynor plays over the loud speaker.//
Eddie (Singing):
Orale, I was afraid, I was petrified,
Kenua (Singing to his bunny):
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side,
Natural (Trying to sing):
BUT THEN I SPENT SO MANY F**KING NIGHTS THINKING HOW YOU F**KING DID ME WRONG!!!!!!!!!1111
Missy (Singing and giggling):
And I grew strong, and I learned how to get along,
Jimmy (Singing to Missy):
And so you're back, from Outer space,
Bobby (Singing to Mark Mayhem):
I just walked in to find you here
With that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
Natural(Singing badly):
IF I HAD F**KIN KNOWN FOR JUST ONE SECOND YOUR @$$ WOULD BE BACK TO BOTHER ME!!!
ALL(They begin to sing in unison as the crowd joins in and stand to their feet):
Go on now go, walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
And I'll survive
I will survive, HEY HEY!
//The scene fades as we see Jimmy, Eddie, Kenua, and Ben in the big game. There is only one second on the clock and Eddie is high on drugs. He shoots and scores. The crowd cheers wildly as they carry all four men on their shoulders. Missy is also carried along with Jimmy as Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider try to look up her cheerleader skirt. //
Rob Schneider & Adam Sandler:
We can do it!
//Bobby begins to sing the final song. //
Bobby (Singing):
Together, together, together having fun,
Together, together, come on let's join the fun.
//Everyone stares at him strangely. //
Eddie:
Orale holmes, we don't have to sing anymore! You really are gay.
Natural:
FAGGOT @$$ FAGGOT!!!!!1111
//The scene cuts to the final credits as the theme to Star Wars plays. The scene fades to black. //
THE END?
QUE VIVA LOS ZOMBIES!!! lol